Life is Hard. Eat Pudding.

March is pretty terrible. In like a lion, out like a lamb. I hope. At least daylight savings is coming up -- don't forget to change your clocks Saturday night -- I, for one, could definitely use some more sunshine. I write this post today with a heavy heart and a knot in my stomach. I don't know why I decided to write this morning. I've let my personal blog fall to the wayside with all the things going on in my life lately -- one being a happy thing, my writing gig with the local paper. I'm really loving that. But, for some reason, I want to share this recipe with you. Maybe I just needed to feel something normal. One thing that hasn't changed, in the midst of my world that's now forever changed.

My soul shattered on March 20, 2013 when my mom left this world. And I've been on shaky legs since, to say the least. It's not that each day it gets easier or it gets better, it's just, more days start having sunshine fill them. Honestly, there's not a moment that goes by where I don't think of my mom. There's not. And then there are some days, some times, some weeks even where everything hurts, everything feels heavy, everything is hard, I can't breathe and I can't stop crying, can't stop feeling the all consuming sadness of her absence... I've been mentally preparing for the 3rd anniversary of her passing, trying to at least. And bam. On Thursday, my dad left this world. Unexpectedly. I'm glad he doesn't have to miss Mom anymore. But, I wish he told me he had to go. That now was his time...

There's a certain feeling of peace and comfort knowing they are together and holding hands... going on a date... laughing, embracing, no longer in pain, no longer suffering and watching over us from Heaven. But, it's still hard. Knowing the only two people who have loved you fully and unconditionally your whole entire life are gone. Knowing there's no love like it left for you here on Earth. It's a certain kind of loneliness. An empty space in your heart...

But, thank goodness for my sweet babies who always make me smile. For my husband who takes care of me. For my sister who has given him his final memories of happiness, laughter, boring-ness and all that regular life brings. And for sweet friends who God's given me a family in. And for all of you, who have sent me love and support during these tough times. xoxo

One thing I know, when you're going through tough times, is you need to give yourself extra love. Extra time. And proper nourishment. You have to make yourself put in the extra effort and it's hard. But, people need you. Your life may have changed. And it may be hard to get up. But, the world won't stop for you. You have to keep going. One thing I turn to for nourishment is chia seed pudding. It's quick, it's easy and it's deeply nourishing for your body and has omega fatty acids and tryptophan to lift your mood. Plus, there are a million ways to make it to suit your tastes. Make sure to give it time to properly gel up and you're sure to love it.

This is how I've been enjoying it lately:

Comforting Chia Pudding

comfortingchiapudding.jpg

serves one

INGREDIENTS

1/4 cup chia seeds

3/4 cup almond milk

1/4 cup coconut milk

2 drops vanilla stevia

1 teaspoon ashwaghanda {great for stress}

1 teaspoon tocotrienols {great for skin health and tastes like vanilla}

2 tablespoons hemp seeds

heavy sprinkle of cinnamon and cardamom

TOPPINGS

1 teaspoon nut butter of choice

goji berries

coconut shreds

love

DIRECTIONS

  1. Combine the ingredients in a beautiful bowl, cover and let sit in the fridge for at least 15 minutes or overnight
  2. Top with desired toppings {mine are listed above}
  3. Enjoy